Tuesday, March 28, 2017

Getting Closer...

Slowly getting closer and closer to Thursday and it's driving me crazy. Not the thought of having Luke. Not the thought of the many sleepless nights, diaper changing, etc. No, what's driving me crazy is the thought of how many days and nights I might have to spend in that goddamn hospital room. Also Bobby reminding me about it doesn't help matters. I keep chanting that mantra in my head to mentally prepare myself for whatever is to come with that isolation. I mean I know I'm not gonna be totally by myself. I'll have the baby and at least a family member or two with me. It's the possibility of not being able to walk around that's gonna make me lose my goddamn mind. I've become a more active person since I had Raven so I need to be mobile after some time. I'm not the most active and athletic person but neither am I a consistent couch potato. I got to be able to get up and walk around, stretch my legs, do something that keeps me moving or I become a really mean bitch.
Hell, trying to take it easy for the past couple of weeks to keep my blood pressure down is a challenge for me. A lot of the active things I used to do, I can't really do. I can't walk fast, can't have sex, can't really play with Raven, etc. It lets one realize how much activity they're used to while also realizing that I'm pretty healthy otherwise. I just got the short end of the stick when it comes to pregnancy, I guess. It also drives me nuts that Raven can't come visit me and Luke at all in the hospital. I really wanted that to happen. My only way of talking to and seeing her is having my mom and Bobby use Face time on their phones. 
Also coming to the end here, I've become a night owl of sorts. I'm awake to 2 am, sleep til 8 or 9 am and take a nap somewhere between 4-6 pm for like 30 minutes. Since Raven's been on break she's been napping with me so that's been kinda nice. She's been attached to my hip for the past week and it's so cute and sweet. I'm doing my best to enjoy these moments with her. Another thing that's been going on, I've just been so tired most of the time and it is annoying.
In between all of that, Bobby and I are trying to keep the apartment clean, the laundry done, Raven ready to stay with my parents when we go to the hospital. He's been keeping me posted on the bills and the business. 
Today, my mom took me and Raven so I could finally get my taxes done and filed. I didn't get much back because I didn't make much. But what I'm getting is better than nothing. *shrugs shoulders*
I'm just ready. Just ready for Luke to here already. I'm tired. I just ate dinner. I'm gonna end the blog here and go watch my shows on our DVR. 
Hope you have a good day!
Until next time.

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