Feeling At Odds

The whole month of May hasn't been any less busy than April. Doctors appointments, school for Raven, caring for everyone, etc. There were days where it got to be too much. I've been feeling like my emotions and everything in life has been all over the place. 

Earlier this month, I let Cindy, my supervisor, know that I'm available to come back to work. She emailed me back saying she'd let people know too but I've yet to hear anything about working or coming for hours. It's starting to get on mine and Bobby's nerves. He's working himself to the bone to keep us afloat and it's starting to wear on him. It's all becoming too much on just his income. Part of me still wants to be a stay-at-home mom but I know, realistically and practically, it's not possible. It's a bit selfish and unfair to Bobby so I've started looking for jobs online.

After seeing my hematologist earlier this month, he told me my iron is low so I had to do 2 Iron Infusions that took about an hour each. It was weird but I noticed a boost of energy in myself after they were done. On June 1st, I believe, is when I go back to that clinic. The following day after that is Luke's 2 month check up where he gets his next set of shots. On May 30th he'll be two months old already. He's gaining weight well and besides a couple of trips to the ER, he's as healthy as can be. 

Now about those aforementioned ER visits...they were all around how bad his breathing sounded to all of us. The first time he caught a small cold from Raven when she came home from school and then he got over that. The second time he was struggling to breath so I had to take him to the hospital by myself. Raven was in bed, had school in the morning so Bobby had to stay home for her. This trip happened at the tail end of my birthday but I'll get to that later. Luke had a breathing treatment and then we were sent home. So hoping to find out somehow if he does have asthma or not. But the doctor at the ER said it's hard to tell, it'll either show now, develop later or maybe not at all. so that's a waiting game I hate.

My birthday came and went. I'm 26 years old now. While it wasn't as amazing as last year, it was still a great day. Bobby got me a $10 gift card for BellStores. His mom made me a dinner I requested and both kids were fairly good all day. Bobby had the day off and we had some *ahem* quality time in the morning. So it was a good birthday.
We're trying to save as much money as possible for our Myrtle Beach Vacation in August. I'm excited but a little nervous at the same time only because I've never been there before.

Every once in a while, things become too much for me and the only ways I know how to bear through it is to cry or write it out and today I've done both. With everything that life has been thrown at us, I'm hoping it's just a matter of time before things start to get a little better.
Until next time.

Hazy, Crazy Days

Wow, these days are just a blur to me anymore. Doctor appointments left and right. Raven's behavior going back and forth between home and school. Bobby working and both of us working on numerous goals, day by day. Bad enough I got Mama brain, I have a hard time keeping track of the days and everything that's going on. I'm not sure where to even begin.

First, Luke is now a month old. He's gone from 7 lbs 9 oz to 8 lbs 13 oz. From 20 inches long to 21 inches. He's eating so good since we started supplementing with formula. I wasn't able to just breastfeed him enough. since we did that he's been gaining weight like he's supposed to do. He's a little more awake and alert more through the day but still up a lot at night. He's cooing, looking around and just getting cuter and cuter all the time. Looking more like his Daddy to me every day to me too. Raven is interacting with Luke more too. Talking, singing and comforting him when he cries sometimes. I love it!

Heading toward the end of the school year, I'm about done with Gorrell where Raven goes to school. She misbehaves there sometimes and its frustrating but what's even more so is the lice problem. Yea they keep finding lice eggs and a bug on her but I never do. Not even after checking numerous times with Bobby and his mom. How in the hell are they finding anything?! Grrr I don't know. We're going to start on getting her enrolled into Fairless Schools for next year. 

Doctors appointments left and freaking right. One for me, Two for Luke and then I've got to schedule one for Raven. I am done with hospitals and doctors for awhile. Or at least I could do without them for a long while. I know I can't. It sucks. That's all I have for now. Until next time.