Can not believe that it's May already! Every year seems to fly by as you get older. Or is it because we're all so busy, we barely register time? Not to get too philosophical but I can't believe how quickly things can change or see where life can take us in such a short period.
It's been about a month since my last blog. It may seem silly but I'm trying to make this a more regular thing. But it's not silly because like all blogs every entry has a purpose. For me to express myself and share with anyone will to read it.
Writing has always been something I've always enjoyed doing. A tool that helps me convey my thoughts and feelings. Also it's always been a passion of mine as well. like write a book or enjoy writings of others. I think it helps me focus on something instead of getting too far into my head, you know? Where all the doubts and worries or anxieties like to swirl around. When I write or do anything, it helps me not overthink or over worry. I'm not feeling like an anxious mess who over analyzes over every little thing. Or thinks people are always upset with her. Or worrying about people's opinions of her. Most of the time, I don't really care about what other people think about me. Only those of the ones I love. When I write it helps calm me down. I feel like myself again. Chill and focused, making sure everything is taken care of and done. able to handle what comes her way and cry about it later when no one is watching. It's just one of those things that me make me feel like a better person all around.
Let me tell you: I HATE when I feel like I'm one of those people who can't handle their anxiety, or depression or whatever. But I'm human. I'm not going to apologize for how I feel. Or expect others to do the same. I do know I have to open my mouth and say whatever is on my mind and I will. No filter and deal with whatever reactions come my way. I'm not gonna dwell. Despair. Mope over what I can not change.
I'm going to move forward and enjoy life. Deal with it and face what shit it throws at me. I'm definitely not going to let anyone make me feel like I'm stupid. or think I'm constantly being yelled at. But take whatever teasing or insults are thrown at me with a smile on my face. Because I do know deep down those will be words said by people hurting, for who knows what in their lives. I'm not going to hold it against them either. Life's too short to hold onto negativity. That's what I had to deal with growing up. But I'm a grown woman, about to be 30, and not about to keep putting up with it now. So everybody deal with it. I'm not gonna be a quiet little mouse with a stick up her ass because she's scared to hurt other or be left alone by anyone.
Honestly I'm gonna start my 30th year with this attitude and mindset. So to reiterate:
-Speak up no matter what.
-Don't take no bullshit.
-Don't be offended; not everyone is out to attack you.
-don't worry or overthink; Everything is going to be ok.
-Grow up and move forward. There's a reason the windshield is bigger than the rearview mirror,
-Let yourself grow and heal.
-It's ok to not be ok.
This isn't what I originally wanted to write but It's funny what comes out in writing. This is what happened so there you go. Until next time...
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