The days and nights have been passing pretty much the same as always. For the past week on every other day, Lucas has been sleeping thru the night. Some days he'll wake up around 4 or 5 am hungry and needing a diaper change. Sometimes he'll fight sleep just to see his daddy when he comes home for work.
Luke's 3 months old and doing so well, it's amazing. He's tasting his hands, smiling at us and everyone. He's laughed for the first time just a few nights ago. Bobby came home, bringing his nephew Braydonn over to stay the night. He just started talking silly and stuff with Luke when the first giggle happened. Bobby and I were so happy we were almost crying. As far as any other developments, Luke's eyes are staying baby blue just like his father. Got full round cheeks like me. He loves when his big sissy Raven sings and talks to him. He flails his arms and legs around whether he's happy and excited or cranky and upset. He's just an all around chilled and relaxed baby except when one of his needs need met; eat, change, and sleep.
Raven's behavior is better on some days. But every day we keep having to remind her of small things that before we wouldn't have to. I have an idea of when she started to act up again. But playing the blame game and pointing fingers doesn't get anyone anywhere but upset and angry. She is getting confused about a lot of things still. In December, I've made an appointment for her to be seen by a developmental pediatrician to get her properly diagnosed. For Autism or some other learning disability, just to know where to get started and what to do to better help her.
Since I had to stop nursing Luke, I've been keeping eyes and ears open for job openings. I've applied to two places online and filled out two other applications that I need to turn in. Things are strapped and stretched thin on just Bobby's income and he never fails to remind me, like I need it. I am just finding the whole situation annoying and trying to grin and bear thru it as best as I can. I know what needs to be done, worked, on, bought, fixed and etc. The damn list grows more every day.
I need some time to myself some days but put it aside so I can try to give Bobby some more rest. I don't know some days I just reach my boiling point and want to hide away from the world for a couple of hours. Little things that normally don't bug me are making me want to explode. I feel like if I talk about it, people will just negate it and brush me aside. Not caring about me or take me seriously.
Things just feel strained and while a lot of things are fun and happy, the days full of frustrations are becoming more frequent. With our vacation to Myrtle Beach impending, I'm just counting down the days.
Will hopefully write more soon.
Until next time.
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